


Aftermath

by Avery_Kedavra



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Anxiety, Arguing, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE NEW EPISODE, Oneshot, Panic Attacks, Post-episode fic, Self-Esteem Issues, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23965363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avery_Kedavra/pseuds/Avery_Kedavra
Summary: Virgil chose to sit that episode out. He thought Patton had everything under control.He was wrong.(Or: the immediate aftermath of Putting Others First)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Everyone, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 18
Kudos: 351





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> So I have a lot of feelings about that new episode! This is a quick fic I wrote detailing what I think might have happened afterward! You can feel free to disagree, I just wanted to get out some of my MANY FEELINGS about the episode.

Virgil was good at being invisible.

He wasn’t actually invisible, of course. None of the sides could camaflauge themselves like that. There were ways to shapeshift into inconspicuous animals, but since there were never any animals in the Mindscape, every animal ended up being conspicuous.

But Virgil was good at being sneaky. He had perfected the art of lurking in the shadows. If he didn’t want anyone to see him, odds were, they wouldn’t see him. Especially if they were distracted. It served him well during his time with the Others—it was often best to stay out of Remus’ way. It served him well when he was still Anxiety, the antagonist—it was often best to stay out of Roman’s way.

(The two of them were more alike than they, or Virgil, wanted to admit.)

Virgil didn’t even mean to be invisible this time around. He was sitting on the common room couch, his headphones in, trying to calm the waves of anxiety he kept feeling. Patton and Roman were with Thomas, working through another issue involving the wedding. Patton promised Virgil he would handle it and things would be fine. Virgil agreed. It would be better to avoid Thomas for a little while, or possibly forever. He may have warmed to him as a friend again, but did he really still want Virgil in charge of his decisions? Virgil doubted it.

A particularly large spike of anxiety hit Virgil and he jolted, trying to remember his breathing. What was going on down there? He knew Roman and Patton had some things to work through about the wedding, but hadn’t they already figured it out? Roman and Patton loved each other, they were closer than brothers. They wouldn’t argue. Right?

You’re close to Patton and you still snapped at him, said a voice in the back of Virgil’s head that sounded suspiciously snakelike.

That was different, Virgil told the voice. Virgil used to be a bad guy. He snapped at everyone. That was just what he did—pushed people away.

Roman was the hero. Roman was the prince. Roman wasn’t perfect, but he was so much better than Virgil could hope to be. Roman wouldn’t let his temper get the better of him. Not when Patton was involved.

Virgil closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to center himself. It wasn’t working. Nervousness clawed a hole in his stomach. Maybe he could just take a peek out there? Thomas wouldn’t even have to notice him. He could just make sure everything was under control.

Everything was! Of course it was. What could possibly happen?

Virgil frowned. Did he just jinx it?

Maybe he should go talk to Logan. He was in his room, right? Thinking up some facts to help Roman and Patton? He’d offered for Virgil to join, but Virgil declined. He wasn’t any good with facts. Now he regretted being left alone in the empty common room. Would Logan think it was weird if he said he changed his mind? Would he be annoyed that Virgil was interrupting his research? Virgil knew Logan always said that Virgil could always come to him for help. But knowing it was different than internalizing it.

Taking a few more breaths, trying to hold them in a 4-7-8 pattern, Virgil finally felt his anxiety, and Thomas’, diminish. There, see? It was under control and he didn’t even have to—

And then it spiked so abruptly that Virgil almost fell off the couch. He curled his knees up to his chest as his vision blurred and his breathing grew raspy. Oh no. Oh no no no no, he was not going to panic, not today, not ever, Thomas needed him, Thomas, Thomas-Thomas-Thomas—

But it wasn’t a panic attack. After a few seconds, Virgil got it under control. Nerves squirmed in his stomach like snakes, but he could breathe. He could see.

He could see Roman appear in the center of the common room, shoulders slumped.

That was weird. Wouldn’t Roman and Patton leave together? Well, maybe Patton stayed behind to offer a few more dad jokes.

“Roman?” Virgil asked, pulling off his headphones.

He regretted it the moment Roman swiveled around to glare at him. He’d never seen Roman that angry—not since…not since he was Anxiety.

Wait, was that what the discussion today was really about? Did they all decide to get rid of Virgil? Did they decide that he wasn’t any good because he used to be bad? Is that why they kept him out of it?

Virgil calmed his racing thoughts. He was jumping to conclusions again. (Thanks, Logan.) The discussion was about the wedding, that was all.

But if it was just about the wedding, why did Roman look like he was about to run Virgil through with his sword?

“Uh, Princey?” Virgil tried for a smirk. “You’re…looking pretty off, there. You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Roman growled.

“You sure?” Virgil’s nervousness was replaced by concern. “’Cause you’re acting fishy. Did Patton—”

“Stop asking!” Roman snapped. “I’m fine! Can’t you leave me alone and stop pretending to care?”

“What?” Virgil blinked. “Wh-pretend? Why would—”

“’Cause I get it!” Roman threw up his hands. “I get it now! I understand! You don’t have to torture me, I get it! Nobody likes me, I’m not a hero, you’d all side with the reptilian rapscallion over me, I’m the evil twin and not Remus! I get it!”

“What?” Virgil almost yelled. “What are you talking about?”

Roman glared at him again. “I’m going to my room for an indefinite period of time. Don’t bother coming after me. We both know you don’t want to.”

“I…” Virgil shook his head. Sure, Roman could be insecure sometimes and furious sometimes, but never simultaneously. Never to this extent.

Roman stalked towards the hallway, not giving Virgil another glance. His shoulders were tight and his hands were clenched into fists.

“What happened?” Virgil asked, not really addressing Roman.

Roman didn’t turn around. “Ask Patton’s new best friend.”

Before Virgil could ask what that meant, Roman was gone.

Virgil kicked the blanket off his legs and stood up, headphones in one hand. He was going to Logan’s room. Logan would know what had happened, Logan could fix this—

Then Patton appeared in the commons only two feet from Virgil. Virgil jumped.

“Oh, sorry kiddo! Didn’t mean to startle you!” Patton gave him a smile, but it was brief and watery. “I—did Roman come through here?”

“Yeah?” Virgil examined Patton closely. His hands were fidgeting with his cardigan and his eyebrows were wrinkled with worry. “What’s up, Dad?”

“Nothing,” Patton said quickly. “Nothing you need to worry about.”

Patton knew that would only make Virgil more worried. Patton knew that. So why did he say it? He was either extremely distracted, extremely emotional…or hiding something.

A lump rose in Virgil’s throat.

“Look, I have to go check on Ro…” Patton gave Virgil another cursory smile. “I’ll talk to you later, kiddo, okay?”

“Uh, sure?” Virgil said.

“Great!” And Patton was off, running down the hallway.

Virgil shook his head. Clearly, something had gone wrong. Maybe Remus had showed up? That would certainly upset everyone, but not to this extent, they’d learned to roll with his contributions—

Curiosity got the best of him and he crept down the hall after Patton, shoes noiseless. For once, he thanked Roman for the addition of fluffy red carpeting.

“…come out and talk?” Patton was saying to Roman’s door. “We said some things…got out of hand…maybe…”

Patton’s voice dipped and Virgil couldn’t hear any words at all. He was pressing his hand to the white paint of Roman’s door, looking distraught.

But Virgil, and probably the entire Mindscape, heard Roman’s response.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Virgil winced instinctively. Roman’s voice was hoarse and snapped on the third word. He’d been crying, hadn’t he?

Patton only nodded sadly and said one more thing to the closed door before walking back down the hallway to the commons. He was preoccupied enough to not notice Virgil, who quickly scooted around a corner and tucked himself behind the couch, almost out of sight.

Patton started pulling ingredients out of the cupboards. He was making cookies. Virgil almost smiled. Patton always liked to comfort bake, and his cookies were the best. Virgil watched as he hummed to himself, not really smiling, starting to mix ingredients. A few times, he paused to wipe his eyes.

Virgil had almost worked up the courage to offer his help, with the cookies or the feelings, when a door slammed down the hallway.

Virgil froze again. Even through the carpet, he could hear someone’s footsteps stomping down the hall.

Logan entered the common room, eyes narrowed. He spotted Patton and they narrowed even further.

“H-hey, kiddo!” Patton said, not even attempting a smile this time. “How are—”

“Save it.” Logan brushed past him and filled a mug with coffee.

“Oh-okay.” Patton sighed. “Lo…um, thanks for the facts earlier! They were really—”

“Don’t patronize me,” Logan snapped, turning off the coffee maker.

“I’m not! We appreciated your help!” Patton stared at him imploringly. “You know we appreciate you, Logan. Right?”

Logan glanced at Patton. “Be careful, I think he’s rubbing off on you.”

Patton frowned as Logan grabbed his mug and started to exit the commons. “Logan, please, let’s talk about this—”

“There is nothing to talk about. I do not want to talk about it.”

“Logan,” Patton called, “I’m sorry!”

Logan gave Patton one last venomous glare. “There is nothing to be sorry for. If you want to replace me, erase me, go ahead. He can stand in my spot for every episode. I won’t mind.”

“No one’s replacing anyone!”

“Right.”

And Logan was back down the hall, slamming his door again.

Patton sunk into himself as he watched Logan leave, biting his lip and scrubbing at his eyes. Slowly, he turned back to the kitchen counter and began to make cookies again, his hands shaking.

“It didn’t go well?”

Patton didn’t even jump when another figure appeared behind him. “Nope.”

Deceit stood there, resplendent in black and yellow robes, his usual snaky smirk replaced by a concerned expression. Virgil froze behind the couch, and as a result, heard the entire conversation.

“They’ll come around,” Deceit assured him.

Patton nodded. “Right.”

“But they’ll need processing time. This is a large change.” Deceit sighed, and pulled off his gloves. “Can I help?”

“With the cookies?” Patton blinked in surprise. “I didn’t know you could cook!”

Deceit smirked. “I’m a master chef. Someone had to cook for Virgil and Remus and—well, everyone.”

“That’s so sweet!” Patton smiled for the first time. “I’d love your help!”

Deceit smiled back and took one of the mixing bowls, pouring some flour. “What kind of cookie? I prefer oatmeal raisin, myself.”

Patton stifled a noise of distaste. “Um…yummy! But I think my kiddos prefer chocolate chip.”

Deceit glanced at him. “Half and half? I think Virgil still has a penchant for oatmeal raisin.”

“Alright then!” Patton laughed. “Thanks!”

“I didn’t have anything else to do.”

“No, seriously.” Patton’s voice softened. “Thank you, Janus.”

Deceit smiled back and placed a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “You’re welcome. Thank you, too.”

And Virgil’s insides turned to ice.

_Janus._ Memories bubbled up inside of him, golden and warm and poisonous, sweet on the outside but sour and sickly when he looked too close.

Janus.

What _happened_ in that episode?

Without thinking, Virgil scrambled to his feet. Patton and ~~Jan~~ Deceit whirled. “Kiddo?” Patton asked, his voice wavering.

Virgil probably looked like he’d been hit by a car. His eyes were wide and his hands clenched into fists. 

“Kiddo?” Patton repeated. “Virge, I can explain—” 

And maybe Virgil would have listened. But Deceit gave him a smile, just like the ones he would use back then. Sweet on the outside, sour on the inside, poisonous. 

Virgil hissed at him, because words couldn’t express how much he hated Deceit. 

Deceit gave him a merry hiss back and returned to making the cookies. 

Patton’s cookies. _Patton’s_ cookies. 

Virgil found somewhere safe, somewhere Deceit couldn’t get to him, and the moment he turned his back it was whisked away. What had he said? Done? How had he convinced Patton to let him into the kitchen? 

Why had he given out his name? 

Virgil was shaking now. Patton reached out for him, but he stumbled backward and down the hall. He couldn’t. Not right now. Not ever. He would watch the video when it posted and figure out what happened. For now, he needed to get far away from that snake face, and the person Virgil thought had his back. 

Virgil disappeared into his room. 

For the third time that night, a door slammed. 


End file.
